Resist Social Sector Temptations, Learn How to Laugh at Yourself
I met a few friends after a long while. They too work in the social sector. Even after more than a year of my writing a series of columns, they remembered them with amusement. The columns were about donors and social-sector leaders. What amused them most was the reactions these had generated in their circles.
About the first set, which was about donors—people like me and our organizations—they heard widespread praise and strong agreement. In those, I had been critical of the methods that people like us adopt and therefore the culture these foster in the NGO sector. The positive reaction was unsurprising. Donors, it seems, are quite comfortable with criticism of other donors.
The second set was about social-sector leaders. The one that particularly amused my friends was where I had described three seductions that such leaders face: of money, of power, and of santhood. One friend narrated with glee the sharply divided reactions to that column. Many found my descriptions reasonably accurate, going by what they encountered, and expressed relief that someone had said it publicly.
Then there was a group angered by it. Most of them said the only reason I could get away with such calumny was because I lead a large donor organization. My friends were amused because, in their estimate, most of these angry leaders fitted to a T those who had fallen prey to one or more of these seductions.
The Three Seductions
The seduction of money is perhaps the most obvious. In a sector where resources are always scarce, those who control access to funding wield enormous influence. It is easy to begin believing that one’s worth is measured by the size of one’s budget, that the scale of resources one commands is a proxy for impact. Before long, the pursuit of funding becomes an end in itself, disconnected from the mission it was meant to serve.
The seduction of power is more subtle. Social-sector leaders often find themselves in rooms with policymakers, celebrities, and corporate executives. They are consulted on important matters. Their opinions carry weight. This access can be intoxicating, and it is easy to mistake proximity to power for power itself. The leader who began as a voice for the voiceless can become someone who speaks primarily to the powerful, losing connection with the communities they once served.
The seduction of santhood is perhaps the most dangerous. In a world that desperately needs heroes, social-sector leaders are often cast in that role. They are praised for their selflessness, their dedication, their sacrifice. And it is easy to begin believing the hype. The leader who sees themselves as a saint becomes incapable of self-criticism, unwilling to acknowledge mistakes, unable to grow. They become trapped in a role that leaves no room for ordinary human fallibility.
Three Characteristics of Those Who Resist
We began discussing whether we could identify common characteristics of people who don’t succumb to these seductions. After some deliberation, we agreed on three.
First, such people have a clear idea of the role they are playing in society and the world. I am not referring to their roles as leaders of organizations, but the roles they have chosen to play or have developed—as activists, ground-level organizers, researchers, and so on. This role clarity includes an equally clear understanding of a simple fact: there are many things they would like to do but lie beyond the purview of the role they have grown into. For example, they are not politicians, administrators, or policymakers. This clarity about what they are not is as important as clarity about what they are.
This clarity acts as a guardrail. It prevents the leader from straying into areas where they have no competence or mandate. It reminds them that their contribution, however valuable, is just one piece of a much larger puzzle. It fosters humility and respect for others who play different roles.
The second characteristic is simplicity. I mean not only lifestyle simplicity, though that often follows, but a consistent habit of mind—the ability to speak simply, convert the most complex of matters into simple and relatable terms, and to behave with people around them in a direct manner. This is not about dumbing down or oversimplification. It is about clarity of thought that enables clear communication and straightforward human engagement.
Simple people are easy to be around. They do not create unnecessary complications. They say what they mean and mean what they say. They do not hide behind jargon or pretension. This simplicity is not an accident; it is the product of disciplined thinking and a genuine desire to connect.
The third is that they don’t take themselves too seriously. They are conscious that the work they are doing is serious, that the purpose they want to serve is very important. However, they can laugh at themselves, see their own limitations clearly, and gladly acknowledge their mistakes. There is a lightness in their bearing even as they carry the weight of their work.
This ability to laugh at oneself is perhaps the most underrated leadership quality. It signals that the leader is not wrapped up in their own importance. It creates psychological safety for others, who see that mistakes are not fatal and that imperfection is human. It keeps the ego in check and prevents the leader from becoming isolated in their own self-regard.
The Underlying Awareness
We also agreed that something underlies these three characteristics: a deep sense or awareness of the role of circumstances. These individuals have a profound appreciation for a simple set of facts that too many tend to forget in leadership roles. They are where they are because they grew up in certain circumstances. They have had particular people around them. The world around them was at a certain moment in time.
They are not wrapped up in the illusion that they are the sole authors of their destiny. There are many people and events involved. The world is a pretty random place and not everything can be explained or understood. This awareness keeps hubris and several other maladies at bay.
The leader who understands the role of circumstance is grateful rather than entitled. They recognize that they could easily have been born into different circumstances, with different opportunities, different challenges. This recognition fosters empathy and a genuine connection with those who have been less fortunate.
The Invaluable Gift of People Who Can Laugh at You
My friends then turned to me with a pointed question: Do you have any method by which somebody can ensure these qualities for themselves? Somebody who does not want to fall prey to those seductions and wants to develop these three sensibilities?
I don’t really have an answer. I suspect there isn’t a clear method or formula. But I can offer something based on observation: work closely with people who can laugh at you and pull your leg. Who don’t take you seriously. Not that they don’t take your role, competence, hard work, judgment, and wisdom seriously—they do. But they can make fun of you without malice.
Such people are invaluable. They keep you grounded. They remind you, often through a well-timed joke or gentle mockery, that you are just another person doing your bit of work. That your work may be important, but you are not. That there is nothing special about you, even if your work is special. This distinction is crucial and easily lost.
It is also, I must add, great fun to work with such people. Laughter, particularly at oneself, is underrated as a tool for effectiveness and sanity in this work. The social sector is full of deep problems and serious work. All the more reason to not take ourselves seriously. Our work will benefit from it, and so will we.
Conclusion: The Ultimate Test
Perhaps the ultimate test is this: Can you laugh when someone makes fun of you? Not polite laughter, but genuine amusement at your own foibles and pretensions? If you can, you are probably doing alright. If you cannot, it might be time to find people who will help you learn.
The social sector attracts people of deep commitment and genuine idealism. It also attracts those who seek validation, power, or a certain kind of moral authority. The temptations are real, and the fall is steep. But the path of resistance is available to anyone willing to cultivate role clarity, simplicity, and a capacity for self-laughter—and to surround themselves with people who will not let them forget that they are, after all, just human.
Q&A: Unpacking the Social Sector Reflections
Q1: What are the three seductions that social-sector leaders face?
The three seductions are money, power, and santhood. Money seduces through the influence that comes with controlling resources, leading to pursuit of funding as an end in itself. Power seduces through access to policymakers and celebrities, causing leaders to mistake proximity to power for power itself and lose connection with communities. Santhood seduces through praise and hero-worship, making leaders incapable of self-criticism, unwilling to acknowledge mistakes, and trapped in an unrealistic role.
Q2: What are the three characteristics of people who resist these seductions?
First, role clarity—knowing not only what they are (activists, organizers, researchers) but also what they are not (politicians, administrators, policymakers). Second, simplicity—not just lifestyle but a habit of mind that enables clear communication and straightforward human engagement. Third, not taking themselves too seriously—being able to laugh at themselves, see limitations clearly, and acknowledge mistakes gladly, carrying the weight of work with lightness.
Q3: What underlying awareness supports these three characteristics?
A deep appreciation for the role of circumstances. These individuals recognize they are where they are because of where they grew up, the people around them, and the particular moment in time. They are not wrapped up in the illusion of being sole authors of their destiny. This awareness of randomness and contingency keeps hubris at bay, fosters gratitude rather than entitlement, and enables genuine empathy with those less fortunate.
Q4: What practical advice does the author offer for developing these qualities?
Work closely with people who can laugh at you and pull your leg without malice. Such people take your role, competence, and judgment seriously, but they do not take you personally seriously. They keep you grounded through well-timed jokes and gentle mockery, reminding you that while your work may be important, you are just another person doing your bit. Laughter, particularly at oneself, is underrated as a tool for effectiveness and sanity.
Q5: What is the ultimate test of whether one has resisted these seductions?
Can you laugh when someone makes fun of you? Not polite laughter, but genuine amusement at your own foibles and pretensions. If you can, you are probably doing alright. If you cannot, it might be time to find people who will help you learn. This ability to genuinely laugh at oneself signals that the ego is in check and that one has not fallen prey to the seductions of money, power, and santhood.
